There once was this super famous boy band that had one of its members get Chlamydia from a Koala. Seriously! (You can't make this up folks!) The cute and cuddly creature peed on him at the zoo and he contracted an STD! This card is in honor of that little event. Who would have ever thought that holding a marsupial would carry such risks!?
Thank your partner for not peeing on you/giving you Chlamydia. (Trust us, if you've had relations with others- protection is key- but we do stupid crap sometimes, so thank your partner/partners for not giving you any icky things during your bumping uglies.)
This listing is for a 4.25 x 5.5 inch card. Also enclosed is an A2 envelope in the color of your choice.
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Select CUSTOM TEXT instead of ORIGINAL CARD SHOWN. Please be sure to select the correct option and specify in notes what text you’d like printed on the front, as well as the inside of the card. We will print your exact custom text on the outside or the inside right/bottom portion of the card. (Depending on the layout of the card.)
♥♥ Important Information ♥♥
♥ Our cards are vibrant and colorful- we’ve taken the time to design fun cards to match that colorful personality of yours! Please keep in mind that each monitor/computer has its own color settings; due to this, colors may vary slightly.
♥ Each card is printed on smooth, luxurious thick white cover cardstock.
♥ Some of our cards come with unique hand-embellished glitter elements; which are painstakingly applied after printing each card by hand. They’ll add that special twinkle, sure to amp up the awesome!
♥ The inside of each card is blank, so you can write whatever your little heart desires. Be witty, snarky, sweet or daring. The inside is your moment to shine!
♥♥♥♥ Customer Reviews ♥♥♥♥
“I love everything I've ever purchased from this shop, but especially this card! The service is great, as well. My purchases always arrive on time and I am treated like a friend and not just a customer. I will continue buying from this shop!” - Kaitlin G
“This is an awesome freaking card. I freaking love it. I will freaking order more freaking cards asap -- seller is freaking awesome.” - MomofBryce
"I can't believe this card even existed?! I searched Google and voila!! There it was. It literally made the recipient cry; she loved it so much. Great work! I also loved the note and confetti that came along with it. I will definitely purchase more." - Avogel83
“These cards are the best! Highly recommend Michelle's shop to every human being inhabiting the earth. I still have the Christmas card I ordered displayed just because it's so marvelous! So glad I found this gem of a store. Thank you kindly!” - Nicole
♥♥♥♥♥Want to see more reviews? Click here for our review page:♥♥♥♥♥
✉✉✉ Shipping Information ✉✉✉
✉ Turn around times vary for each item. You can check the turn around time for the items you're interested in, by clicking on the Shipping & Policies tab. We try to ship out everything as quickly as possible, however it can take the full amount of time listed. If you need something by a specific date, please email us with the request. We'll do everything in our power to make it happen!
✉ All orders are sent via First Class with USPS- which generally takes around 5 business days for orders shipped within the USA, but may take longer, depending on the post office, weather etc. As much as we’d love to, we have no control over the Post Office. If there are any problems though, we’ll always do our best to fix the situation.
✉ International orders generally take around 15 business days for delivery - but can take longer. Customs may take some time to process orders; their turnaround is completely at their discretion. Past orders to international orders have taken around 2 weeks, but that can change depending on customs and things out of our control.
✉ Every order has a tracking number, which is emailed to you once your order has shipped.
✉✉✉ We also offer PRIORITY shipping for USA orders, which will expedite the shipping timeframe, once your order has shipped.
If you’d like to go back to the shop, please click here:
1-2 business days
I'll do my best to meet these shipping estimates, but can't guarantee them. Actual delivery time will depend on the shipping method you choose.
Buyers are responsible for any customs and import taxes that may apply. I'm not responsible for delays due to customs.
Just contact me within: 14 days of delivery
Ship items back to me within: 30 days of delivery
Buyers are responsible for return shipping costs. If the item is not returned in its original condition, the buyer is responsible for any loss in value.
Please contact me if you have any problems with your order.
PLEASE NOTE THAT AT THIS TIME, ANY ORDERS PLACED ON THE 16TH OF DECEMBER OR LATER MAY NOT ARRIVE IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS. USPS IS VERY BUSY AND DUE TO COVID, HAS MINIMAL STAFFING. I AM SHIPPING EVERY ORDER OUT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE BUT DELIVERY TIMES ARE OUT OF MY CONTROL.
INTERNATIONAL ORDERS - NOVEMBER 20TH
STANDARD SHIPPING/FIRST CLASS - DECEMBER 15TH
PRIORITY SHIPPING/ MUG ORDERS - DECEMBER 17TH
UPGRADED PRIORITY EXPRESS - DECEMBER 20TH
IF YOU PLACE YOUR ORDERS ON OR BEFORE THESE CUT-OFF DATES, ACCORDING TO USPS, THEY SHOULD ARRIVE IN TIME BEFORE THE HOLIDAY.
Please don't get your cards wet! They are inkjet printed, which means the ink may run if wet. The same goes for any poster prints. I use a high quality photograph inkjet printer - it prints amazing, but the ink will still run when wet.
Mugs should be hand-washed and are microwave safe. WOOT!
I do my best to make things as easy as possible for you, however I do ask that you ensure correct shipping addresses.
We ship to the address provided at the time of your order. I am more than happy to change a shipping address for you, if it's incorrect and I've not shipped it out. However if the address is incorrect and your order is returned - you will be responsible for additional shipping costs. If you do not respond- you'll be refunded for the product, minus all shipping costs charged by USPS.
If your order had free shipping and is returned due to incorrect address, you will be responsible for additional shipping charges. you prefer a refund, you'll be refunded product cost, minus incurred shipping fees, due to incorrect address.
Orders ship on business days - which are Monday through Friday. Saturday and Sunday are the weekend and my days to actually rest and replenish.
If there is any issue with USPS delivering a package, you need to notify us IMMEDIATELY! USPS can only track a package so long, so if you contact us a month after it was delivered, USPS may not be able to investigate any problems. We want to help you, but we are constrained within timeframes USPS uses. Please let us know of any problems within 15 days. THANK YOU!
You can view our most up-to-date privacy policies here -
PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THAT IF YOU ORDER THROUGH ETSY - WE CANNOT SEND YOU MARKETING INFORMATION IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM, UNLESS YOU OPT IN TO RECEIVE EMAILS THROUGH OUR DIRECT WEBSITE.
WE ONLY CONTACT YOU THROUGH PERSONAL EMAIL IF WE ARE UNABLE TO RECEIVE A RESPONSE THROUGH ETSY CONVERSATIONS.
THE ONLY APIS USED ON ETSY, ARE FOR ETSY RESEARCH ONLY. PROGRAMS USED ARE MARMALEAD, VELA, QUICKBOOKS AND ETSY RANK. THEY MUST ADHERE TO SECURITY MEASURES TO PROTECT THEIR OWN DATA, SET BY ETSY INC.
USPS is working hard to deliver packages as quickly as possible. Because of covid, there have been more delays with packages, missing packages etc. Because of the delays - I cannot guarantee items will arrive before a certain date. It's totally out of my control - even if I'd prefer otherwise. Please be kind and understanding. I truly want you to have your order and will do whatever I can to make it happen - however please also be aware of the situation at hand and know that there may be delays. If you have ANY questions or concerns, don't hesitate to contact me through Etsy. I am here to help you and am happy to do so!
DUE TO BEING MY MOM'S FULL TIME CAREGIVER, WE'VE BEEN SOCIAL DISTANCING SINCE FEBRUARY 2020. (Which means we only go out for grocery shopping, which happens once every 3-4 weeks.) We take the utmost caution when shopping and use hand sanitizer/mask to ensure we keep ourselves safe. When packaging orders, I wash my hands and use a disinfected/clean surface to package all orders - ensuring not to touch my face. Safety is my number one priority!
Feb 13, 2016
Jan 25, 2016
You can't give a card that references an STD lower than 10 stars, come on ETSY some things deserve more than 5🌟's
Dec 28, 2015
Aug 22, 2015